After yesterday's trauma (read "A Very Crappy Day"), I was determined to never again get caught with my daughter's pants around her ankles while she watered the grass of a public park. That Ella had peed before leaving the house a mere fifteen minutes ago, and that she hadn't had anything to drink between our house and the park, didn't at all deter her from somehow willing her bladder full by the time we pulled in to the park. Not to worry-I had learned my lesson from the day before, and Ella's potty rode shotgun today. That's right, there was a plastic potty in the passenger seat of my car.
Ella has come to equate going out in public with needing to urinate, but this time I was prepared. I answered her call to pee by simply removing the stroller from the trunk of my car, thereby making space for the potty, and Wha La! An instant restroom. At first Ella didn't know what to think of my personal port-o-potty, but I told her it was silly and, therefore, she ought to pee in it. She was convinced, and pee she did. The problem of her having to go was solved, but now there was a pot of urine in the back of my jeep. Hum, I somehow hadn't anticipated that one. We had already defiled the grass at one park, I reasoned, why not go for two? Like I told myself yesterday, if boys and dogs could leave their pee upon the earth, then so could we. I went forth with confidence and dumped that pee all over the grass.
Our morning at the park went by without incident, or at least without any related to this particular story. As we headed back to the car, though, I realized Ella hadn't pooped yet today. She's a pretty regular child, so I knew it had to be coming sometime soon, and the chances were good that sometime would be during the fifteen minute drive home. I asked her several times if she had to use the "silly car potty" again, and each time my questioning was met with a no. It wasn't until I had both of the girls buckled into their car seats that Ella decided she did have to go. I got her out of her car seat and set up Mom's Personal Port-O-Potty all over again. Once her overalls were around her ankles and her bottom was resting on the plastic seat, she decided she didn't have to go after all. Back to the car seat where, once buckled, she again changed her mind. So back to the car potty it was for one more try. She settled in and seemed determined to get the job done this time. After a few minutes passed with nothing to show for her effort, Ella decided she needed a snack to fortifier her for task at hand. I obliged, and there she sat in the trunk of my jeep, with a snack in one hand and a cup of milk in the other, waving at passers-by (and there were many) while pooping upon her plastic throne. A friend, whose child tended to his bodily functions in the privacy of his own home, stopped laughing at us long enough to take a picture as she drove by:
Forget about dvd players, leather seats, and OnStar. A backseat potty should come standard on all family roadsters.
p.s. Don't go anywhere near the trash in the parking lot of Cedar Falls Park
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Monday, April 2, 2007