Lost at Sea

Greetings from the North Carolina Outer Banks, where I've already lost my swimsuit to the ocean six times (twice on top, four times on the bottom). Earlier this summer I got excited about having lost most of my pregnancy weight, and I bought a little less swim suit than I probably should have. I got my belly button re-pierced (I was certain belly bling would take off at least five years and two kids) and wanted to show it off, so I picked out bottoms that sat pretty low, thereby leaving me extremely susceptible to being de-pantsed by the sea. And the top? The top's always tricky for a breastfeeding mom because the size of the equipment is entirely dependent upon the time of day and when they were last put to use. My last wardrobe malfunction took place late in the afternoon, a time of day when I have no problem filling out my top. The girls were actually both taking naps at the same time, so my husband and I grabbed some boogie boards and headed for the ocean. Steve's not as into the art of boogie boarding as I am, so he called it quits after about fifteen minutes and headed in to watch me flounder around from the shore. Not long after he left a couple of guys entered the water with boards. One of the younger gentlemen, who just so happened to not be hard on the eyes, kept looking over at me. Humph, I thought, maybe I still have it after all. Or maybe I'm just a really sweet boogie boarder. Everyone enjoys being checked out every once in a while, but this guy was going a little overboard with the goggling. Wow, I must be hard to look away from, I thought. As it turns out, I was--but for an entirely different reason. After a while the guy started creeping me out, so I swam down the shore a little. I found a good spot and was about to go riding again when I happened to look down at my suit... and there it was. I wasn't just poking out a little folks, lefty was out there. Completely out there. No wonder I (or at least part of me) was hard to look away from. Deflated (or should I say overinflated?), I tucked myself back in and headed for the shore and my husband, who couldn't stop laughing at me. The next time some cute girls enter the water, I'm pulling his pants down.

Just Barely keepin' them in,
Amy




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