Sunday, August 26, 2007

Hack Job

My mother is guilty of committing hideous hair crimes against her children when they were young. It's not like we had trendy hair that was cool then but now looks ridiculous in pictures-our hair was just plain bad. My brothers had matching bowl cuts. The circumferences of their tiny heads were perfectly rimmed with hair, leaving no doubt that an actual bowl had been used to create these masterpieces. My poor sister was subjected to a regimen of a comb, a spray bottle, and a million tiny pink sponge rollers every evening. My mom wanted her to look like Shirley Temple. The process took about a half an hour and I know that comb hurt, but it could have been worse-mom could have tried to carve dimples in her face to complete the transformation. As for myself, I had hideous bangs. They started on the top of my head and ended just above my eyebrows where my mom curled them under. Again, they weren't cool big 80s bangs like the lucky girls with cool moms had-they were just big, really bad bangs.

Like making my child go to bed at 7:30 p.m. in the summer, when I could see all of the other kids from the neighborhood playing outside my window, inflicting atrocious hair upon my children like my mother did to me was something I swore I was never going to do to my own children. Hair cuts were best left to the professionals.

But I couldn't help myself.

Ella's bangs had been getting in her eyes all summer and she really needed to get them trimmed. On top of that, school starts in a few days and I wanted her to look cute for the annoying number of pictures I wouldn't be able to stop myself from taking. I tried to take her to get a real haircut yesterday, I really did, but she didn't want anything to do with it. "Mommy, you cut my hair," she begged. It was just a trim, folks. How hard could that be? And besides, she asked me to do it.

The worst part is I knew better (Okay, that's the second worst part-the worst part is my daughter looks like an idiot). Some lessons are never learned, though, and now it looks like a rodent tried to gnaw off my little girl's bangs-and almost succeeded. Luckily she's not old enough to know what I've done and hopefully she'll never ask me why her head is cut out of all of our pictures for six months of her life...

Just Barely leaving my kid with some hair up front,

Ever give your kid a bad haircut? Take the poll to the right and tell us about it!


  1. Of course I gave my children haircuts but I did know what I was doing. My children always looked neat and manicured and lucky for me, bangs were in and so were the Beatles. My boys looked just like Ringo Starr! I saved lots of money too. Too bad no one took me up on an offer to trim bangs at the beach a few weeks back. Love, your mother (grandmother of the victim)

  2. LOL! And I still cut my own bangs to this day. She's a cutie though.

  3. Your daughter is adorable! I have cut my 3 year old girls hair a number of times. Most of the haircuts were successful. BUT in June I cut it and it was so bad that I rushed her off to Perfect Look to have it fixed. I told the stylist that we needed to fix a bad home haircut. Well she thought that my daughter cut it herself and keep talking to her about not cutting her own hair and asking if she had gotten a talking to for it etc... My girl was very confused BUT I didn't correct the stylist. Geez!!

  4. My mom did the same thing to me with the pink spongey rollers. What was it about the 70s that made moms do that? My daughter has curly hair, but I've never subjected her to letting me do something abnormal to it. :) I guess you just need to give me time.