Friday, October 3, 2008

Nemesis Part Two: The Next Level

Read Nemesis Part I to find out how (I think) I got one to begin with.

"I have a nemesis" I proudly told my friend as we sat across from each other at a table in the food court. This sort of thing is right up her alley, so she leaned in, waiting to hear more. My friend was also fascinated by the situation and, since I didn't know my nemesis' real name, she spent the rest of our time trying to figure out whom I was talking about.

"Oh my god, there she is!" I whispered to my friend when we went back to school for pickup. "I think we used to go to the same story time at the library," my friend realized. "I'll try to ask her and see what happens."

"Don't look now," I said under my breath to another mom from Ella's class as we headed down the hall to collect our kids, "but I think that woman behind us hates me. She always looks away and scowls at the ground whenever she sees me. I'm not sure what I ever did to her, but I think she might be her nemesis." "Oh, you mean such and such's mom?" she asked, rolling her eyes. "She's like that to everyone. She's been here for three years and I've never seen her talk to anyone." I was relieved, yet oddly disheartened that it wasn't personal, after all. I had to share my nemesis with the rest of the school.

The scowler was loading her kids in the car that day as I pulled out of the parking lot. She must have sensed a disturbance in the force because she paused, turned around and, for the first time, looked me right in the eye. When she glared at me through the windshield I didn't look away and in the seconds that passed I'm pretty sure she bore a hold in my soul with her eyes--or at least tried to. I was causing a backup in the parking lot, so I reluctantly went on my way.

My phone rang as soon as I pulled into my driveway. "I got a glare!" my friend reported excitedly. "I approached her in the parking lot and said hi, I think we used to be in the same story time at the library, and she just glared at me!" my friend reported with glee. We we're both wound up about it now. I can't wait to see how the rest of the year plays out--having a nemesis is interesting, even if you do have to share her.


  1. Ok--the article is hilarious (I'm still wiping away tears of mirth), but did you have to be so accurate in your description of my gleeful nemesis-harbouring? Another thought--do you think she reads this blog and I am now a dead woman? If looks could kill......

  2. You just gave yourself up, honey. Note that I only called you "my friend" throughout so as to save you from Clipboard woman's soul piercing eyes. Perhaps you'd like to change your comment identity to "anonymous"... As for myself, a) I highly doubt she's a fan of reading about my half assed parenting and b) My soul has already been pierced. I'm going down no matter what.

  3. Maybe she's in the witness protection program and trying to not make friends?

  4. I recommend walking uncomfortably close to her and making loud clicking noises. Just me though...