Thursday, December 11, 2008

Punch Line

The youngest has started telling jokes--or at least a one-year-old's equivalent of jokes. Her punch line changes every week, but when it's in vogue, it's consistent. The first was diaper. "Are you mommy's baby?" I asked as I rocked my woman-sized youngest daughter. "No Mommy's baby... Daddy's baby!" "You're Daddy's baby?" "No Daddy's baby, Ella's baby!" "You're Ella's baby?" "Yes." She paused, reconsidered, and decided "No Ella's baby." "Well then, whose baby are you?" There was a moment of silence and suspense as she came up with her zinger. Then a big smile came over her face as she declared, "Addie DIAPER's baby!" Ba da ching!

Now that she had cracked her first joke, there was no stopping her. A few actual exchanges:

"What do you want for breakfast?"
"Do you want Life cereal?"
"No Life cereal. Diaper cereal! Diaper milk! Diaper baby!"

"What did you do in school today?"
"Ummmm, Diaper!"
"What was for snack?"
"You ate a diaper for snack?"
and so on.

A friend of mine asked Addison the name of her teacher. "Diaper teacher!"
The neighbor asked how old she's going to be on her birthday. "Diaper old!" What kind of cake was she going to have? "Diaper cake," of course.
Over the course of the next few days I learned that her name was diaper, her favorite color was diaper, her daddy's real name was diaper (I sure don't remember that), and that she wanted a diaper for her birthday.

One week later she added to her routine. "Hello, Baby Bird," I said in passing. "No Mommy baby bird, Daddy baby bird!" was her naturally contrary reply. But then she spied the fish tank and recognized her opening. "No Daddy's baby bird, fish baby bird!" She looked out the window. "Tree baby bird! Truck baby bird! Street baby bird!" She was on a roll. Addison scanned the room for more material. "No street baby bird, Cooking Show (what we call Alton Brown's show, Good Eats) baby bird!" And then she delivered her favorite punch line: "No Cooking Show baby bird, DIAPER baby bird!" And that was that.

The next week it was "feline." "Mommy, a mouse is a feline," Ella told me over breakfast. "No, feline is another word for cat," I explained. Then Addison joined the conversation. She warmed up by being contrary. "No cat feline, mouse feline!" Then, "No mouse feline, Addie feline! Cereal feline! Cup feline! Baby feline! Mommy feline!" Pause. "DIAPER feline!"

This week's zinger, and by far my favorite so far, is "odor." "That's quite the odor you have going," I told Addison as she zoomed past, leaving the smell of spilled milk, macaroni and cheese, and dirty diaper in her wake. "No Addie O-der. Ella O-der! Fish O-der! Cat O-der! Daddy O-der!" At least she was on the right track, with each supposed offender being stinkier than the last. "DIAPER O-der!" she finally proclaimed. Her joke had come full circle.

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  1. Ian does that too, but his punch line is always either "foot" or "poop".

  2. Ok, seriously...I just about peed myself laughing. Siena is now awake because of my loud guffaw. Too funny Amy, no funny Amy...DIAPER AMY! hahahahaha!!!

  3. Loved "Punch Line." It reminded me of the little sister of one of my kids. She really likes the word "Hochbein," so she uses it like Addie uses "diaper." What kind of ice cream do you want? Hochbein ice cream! What time is it? Hochbein time! She gets all giggly whenever I see her. It's funny.

  4. Flippin' hilarious, especially as at evolved "full circle"! Loved it, thanks for the laugh! :D