Further Updates

Ok, I have heard back from a few more starter recipients.

The nurse at my psychiatrist's office straight up killed her starter. The poor thing never really had a chance. She claims I never gave her the directions, but I think she's just cold hearted. If you get in touch with your inner-yeast and listen closely, it'll tell you what to do.

My hypnotherapist left hers in the care of her husband while she was away and said it was in a solid state when she came home on bake day. Although this indicated to me that something had gone HORRIBLY wrong, she was unbothered by this anomaly and said it made great bread. In fact, she actually divided her new breed of starter and passed it on. Gross, yet impressive.

Kelly made it to the baking stage before killing hers by leaving it in the oven for too long. She plans to try again in ten days.

As for me, my story is the saddest of them all. Remember that bread starter that was supposed to be the last one? Well, there was one sitting on my front seat that was allocated for Addison's teacher. I had prematurely counted it as taken as it had the teacher's name on it and everything. When I got to school though, I was met with a horrible discovery. There was already a starter on the counter. Where it came from, I don't know. Perhaps from the depths of hell. Or maybe Sarah's AWOL starter had finally found a home. I walked dejectedly back to the car that afternoon with a 2 year old under one arm and a baby that was possibly as old as time itself under the other. The next day I divided the starter and resigned myself to a lifetime of sweet breads. The mature thing to do, I suppose, is to accept my fate, cut the zippers off of my clothes, and open an Amish bakery. One day soon you'll find me by the side of the road, selling bread out of the back of my horse and buggy.


I promise I'll write about something other than yeast soon. It just seems like if I'm going to survive this thing, I need to talk it out. Look for something later this week about me prematurely turning 40...