Milestone

Most babies start rolling from their front to their back at around 3 months, and from their back to their front around 5 months. When my baby rolled from her front to her back at 2 1/2 months, I was impressed. When she went the other way at 3 months, I equated her early physical development with mental capacity and was convinced she was a genius. As it turns out, I was right. She is a genius. An evil genius.

As loyal just-barely readers know, Addison refuses to poop like a normal baby. Rather than give me a few small manageable poops a day, she saves them up all week until they become volatile and have no where to go but out... and up... and sideways... The other day Addison triumphantly accomplished such a blowout and was lying on the ground cooing at me in a proud of herself way while I stripped her down. I peeled off her befouled clothing, lifted her bottom half off of the spent diaper, and cleaned her backside. I then lowered her legs to the ground and turned my head to grab the extra wipes necessary for finishing the job. This is the moment she had been training for the past month. The second I looked away she flipped off the clothes she had been laying on right onto the carpet, triumphantly leaving a stamp of her not-yet-wiped "feminine side." Poop from breast fed babies is hard to get out, and now there's a mark on the carpet to commemorate her milestone.

When Addison starts talking at 4 months, I'll know to be afraid instead of wowed. Before I know it, she'll be calling children's services on me for the time I drove around the block before I realized she wasn't in the car.